Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Bug Eats... and eats, and eats

Miss Creosote...

When trussed up in her cape, The Bug bears more than a passing resemblance to Mr Creosote from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life, but she eats very few things that are only ‘wafer thin’...

It all started about a month ago – weaning onto solid food. The preparations were extensive – we had bought a table-top high chair, plastic bowl and spoon, sourced organic carrots which had been boiled to within an inch of any flavour whatsoever, and picked a date for The Bug’s first ‘real food’. We armed ourselves with kitchen towel, wipes and had the number for a team of industrial cleaners on speed-dial. There was a palpable sense of anticipation in the air as all three of us knew that something new and life-changing was about to happen to The Bug.

So, here goes... Into the chair – dangling little legs kicking away like crazy. Bib on – ooh, this must mean FOOD! Mush carrot just that little bit more. Check it’s not too hot. Bring it from the kitchen to the accompaniment of The Bug banging her hand on the table, like it’s the entry of the Burn’s night haggis. Look at her little eyes, wide with expectation and excitement. Roll camera, and... spoon laden with glistening carrot ...INTO THE MOUTH...!

Well, to say that The Bug wasn’t immediately impressed would be an understatement of the order of suggesting that Joseph Fritzl probably shouldn’t spend more time with his family. The video below is the second spoonful and the anticlimax is etched all over her little face. Next day, we tried courgettes with similar responses and the addition of screaming heebie-jeebies at the suggestion that that this flavourless pap could replace milk?!


First proper food - not likely to be a promotional video for the Carrot Marketing Board

I think it’s fair to say that most parents get a little anxious that the ‘food thing’ is going to be difficult, and after such an inauspicious start to the process, we were a little worried that the introduction of solids to The Bug’s diet was going to be an up-hill struggle. But that was a month ago. We’re now in an altogether different place – she now happily tucks into beef casserole (we have discovered the recipe for cat food), chicken and vegetables, lamb stew, dhal (it comes out looking exactly as it did when it went in), mushroom lasagne, spinach pakora (although daddy did get told off about that on account of the eye-watering and red-faced panting it induced), scrambled eggs, weetabix, and all sorts of fruit and vegetable purees, all homemade by her wonderful mummy.

Her table manners leave much to be desired - she seems to think mealtimes are also the best time to fill her pants (I can see the logic here - make some space), shouts "AAAH , AAAH" with her mouth open should the food not come quickly enough, and any morsels which fall within range are generally battered into the wood-grain of the table within a few seconds.

Some things go down (and through) better than others, and mercifully few things come back up. She’s not quite as advanced as wanting to finish a meal with cheese, port and cigars, but it’s all going very well. Bon appétit!

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